the first morning hour

Friday, February 22

On the drive out to to go apartment hunting in this little Virginian town for the first time, I remember feeling relieved. I felt good about this move. SO good. Absolutely nothing on the surface level of our lives was changing. There was no reason, really, to feel relieved at all. But I felt my heart settling into a contented YES. Yes, something good was to be discovered here. Yes, the next season of our lives was going to make itself a home right here in these hills. For now, this was where we belonged. The people here, oh they are good. And not to go on and on about it. But truly! We have never felt such an immediate sense of community and kinship in the 23489 moves that we've made during our married life together.
Never has there been such a demand on our time either. Life is asking more. More of my time and attention outside the home, outside my comfort zone, more as a wife to my sweet husband, more as a mama to a constantly changing little son. But of course it is! Of course. I felt it on the drive out months ago that this place, or this time, it would leave its mark on us. Which I suppose might sound more dramatic than I mean it to. But have you ever had a moment when it's almost as if you can sit back and see your life as a book, divided into chapters? And for the first time ever, you can sense a distinct page turn and there it is, the beginning of chapter X waiting with a blank page. And you just know that when that chapter X is finished, you'll look back with a little bit of relief that it's over but also a deep sense of fondness at how it changed you?
That's kind of what it feels like right now if we're gonna get abstract about it.

These are a few photos of the first morning hour after Everett wakes up. It's one of my favorite times of day, hands down. It's a wrestling match of a diaper change in the living room. And it's crawling around with his pajamas still hanging off his ankles because a diaper change and a clothing change usually require an intermission for both of us. It's eggs while he holds hands with Wink. It's playing peek with the curtain. It's reorganizing the bathroom cupboard while I get ready for the day. It's a sippy cup of milk for him and a cup of tea for me. And it's cuddling and climbing on mama and feeding me his cup of grapes and making sure that I give Wink kisses too.
Insert emoticon with hearts flying out of its eyes here.


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