today i'm

Thursday, July 1

So today, I realized that it's half-way over.
you know ... the big two-one
i'm six months in already
and I don't even feel it like you're supposed to.
Cause you are, right?

I remember back in the day,
back when I was 12 years old and stuffing my bra cause I so desperately wanted to be a woman. Not just a woman, but a woman with some real sweet knockers. {cause that's what's important, you know}

Back then, 21 was like the magic number.
Or so I'd heard.

It's the age that I was supposed to be single and sexy
and in my prime,
so of course, I was supposed to have fun while it lasted.
It's the age when I was absolutely sure
that I would finally grow out of that awkward stage and transform into my most super-hot self.
It's the age that I was supposed to be independent and super awesome,
because aren't all adults super awesome?
I was going to have like a ton of friends.
And we were going to go out for "girls night" all. the. time. cause you know, we would be twenty-one.
And that's what twenty-one's do of course.

But here I am, twenty-one and a half.

I'm married. And have been for two years. {wowzer. married at 19? cue the "woah" face}
I have a handful of super great friends. But we don't go out alllll the time.
I'm pretty sure that my prime's decided to not come until my 30's
I'm definitely not single {but my husband thinks I'm sexy, so that's 1 for 2 I think}
And I'm still not convinced that I'm out of that awkward stage.

"just perfect", I thought today. That's juuuuuust dandy. I'm definately a loser now.
I'm a failure at being twenty-one.

But then I thought again.
And this time I thought,

you know what?
Screw twenty-one. {'scuse the lingo}
It's not a magic number.
It's a number.

right? right.

And after thinking about my "half-ness" today, I've decided that for the next six months, I'm going to concentrate on making it my number. I'm talkin like best year ever.
{For reasons other than the super lofty goals of super-hotness, etc}

I may not be your typical twenty-one, or even what I thought I would be at this age.
but I still call dibs on super-awesomeness.


Danielle Renee said...

Oh yes, that grand ol let down of turning 21. I know that feeling. I ended up spending my 21'st birthday in the trunk my car, as a youth camp leader, being driven from the mess hall to my bunk.

I think 30 will be my 21 except with kids, and husband, and bills.

Anonymous said...

Love this post! I'm 20 about to 21..feeling some of the some anxiety!
much love syd!

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