117 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

 Boots: Hunter, Skirt: Madewell, Belt: JCrew, Top: F21, Necklace: c/o Pree Brulee, Glasses: Target

Awkward:
- Of course the weather pulls a complete 180 on the one rainy day around here that I get to wear my favorite green boots. Forget you spring. And your little cloud friends too.
- Yum-o is a word? And people use it in real life? See also: cray cray
- I carry a man's wallet. And it's not even close to pretty. It's old and black and leathery and it's stuffed full of old receipts and even older Costco cards. It's awkward because it's true.
- Mom noises. You know the one that sounds like a boat? Not even gonna try to type it out, so just go with it. Everett loves it, so I do it a lot. Sometimes out of habit I'll accidentally do it even when I'm not with Everett. Like in public. These are the defining moments in my life.
- Literally, a 6 inch butt crack. Like a shining beacon across the food court.

Awesome:
- The pig necklace I scored at Madewell the other day. If this was twitter, the hashtag would be #ItsapignecklaceandI'mfreakingout!
- Staying up till 4am with my two crazy awesome cousin-in-laws. I think the last time I did that, I was a freshman in college cramming for my public speech class. So what, I'm a grandma.
- My little brother singing I love you, a bushel and a peck to Everett on the car ride home. And how sad Everett got when his uncle E stopped. 200 rousing rounds later and the babe was one happy little dude the whole way home. Thanks bro.
- One very sexy night out. That is all.
- Rediscovering my new favorite quote by Mary Oliver: Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life? Goin' on my wall like yesterday.

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158 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Shoes: c/o Frock Candy, Pants: c/o Windsor, Jacket: Old Navy, Sunglasses: Target

Awkward:

- The exact same ritual I go through every time someone asks me what my name is.  
I'm Sydney. 
Well hi Tiffany, nice to meet you. 
Oh no, it's Sydney. 
Cindy? 
SYDNEY. Like in Australia.
One of these days, I'm just going to save myself the trouble and legally change my name to Sydney, like in Australia Poulton. It's nice, right?
- Naked pregnancy pictures. Stop showing them to me world!
- Loading Everett's car seat into the middle of my backseat after hefting a barbell for an hour. It's the grunt heard 'round the parking lot. More like the three grunts. Somehow the first two never quite make my arms work.
-  Standing in line and getting hit in the back of the head with a paper airplane from an anonymous pilot. So I retrieve the paper airplane from the ground and stand up to return it to ... oh that's right ... no one. No one is there to take the stupid airplane. And everyone's looking at me like, wow that's really unfortunate and embarrassing. So I take that paper airplane and I SLAM DUNK IT IN THE TRASH CAN.
-For me, meditation has the same effect as a massage: it feels good, so it makes me smile. So there's the teacher at the front of the class right? Scanning her glorious sea of serious and thoughtful and meditative yoga faces ... and then she gets to me, eyes closed, just smiling away like an idiot. So she announces people, announces to the class that somebody is having a good time. After which I pick up my shovel, dig a very large hole and throw myself in it.

Awesome:

- Baby eyelashes tickling my arm as he sleeps
- Making friends with a 50 year old woman who just moved here from Holland. Who happens to be hilarious.

-  73 degrees today! I'm wearing sandals man!
- Listening to Tyson sing when he thinks he's by himself.
- The curious fingers and eyes that helped me cook and eat pancakes yesterday.
- The beautiful weekend I have ahead that has absolutely nothing to do with being sick and everything to do with spending lots of time with my boys.

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112 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Boots: Hunter, Sock: Target, Pants: Target, Jacket: c/o Windsor, Hat: Walmart, Bag: c/o One Language

Awkward:

- Walking down the hall at the movies and suddenly having one lonely sock fall out of my pant legs. "Hey", says the Good Sock Samaritan, "You dropped ... eh ... your sock". The "oh thanks" timidly spoken as you accept the blasted thing is a special humbling moment that only that one lonely sock dropped from your pant leg onto a public hallway can give you. {It's actually amazing that this is the first time that's happened, as I will admit that most of my pant legs are filled with yesterday's socks.}

- Standing outside of a gym studio, waiting for the previous class to get out and hearing myself ask another woman, "You here for guts and butts?" I don't care what the class is called. That business is never coming out of my mouth again.

- And thanks to the aforementioned class, today my gait looks like something closely resembling those lovely walking dead folk exiting their cemetery in Thriller. But that's nothing compared to the downright party making my way down the stairs has become.

- Serenading myself with the last part of the song that I was listening to in the car as I stop to unlock my door, only to look over and see my neighbor sitting on his front porch. It is in that moment when one truly realizes where their level of confidence is at. Mine is at a zero with an audible DANGIT.

- Working away on the computer with a bag of Reisens in front of me, only to look down and suddenly see a gigantic pile of empty wrappers just staring at me from the desktop. It was an awkward moment for both me and the pile.

Awesome:

- Girls night out with a few friends. SO. GOOD.

- Sitting on the gym mat directly behind the chick with the most bangin' tushy in the class. She is my motivation for one ... more ... lift ... even though I'm pretty sure my leg has already detached itself from my body, got up and walked straight out of class.

- The sudden knack Tyson has for cooking. Like full on, searching the Food Network for recipes, banging pots and pans in the kitchen, bringing me spoons for a taste-tests, cooking! I'm tellin' you, it's like the twilight zone over here

- Watching Everett take in new things in his little world. I swear, I've never experienced anything so rewarding. 

- Another date night with my guy tomorrow night. We are getting spoiled over here.

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138 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

 Shoes: Kohls Simply Vera Wang, Jeans: F21, Top: Target, Scarf: Zara, Sweater: c/o Ruche, Hat: Urban Outfitters

Awkward:
- Trying to navigate a busy grocery store with the handle of my shiny new Swiffer jutting out the side of the cart. No lady, that was not me smacking your bum. It was the Swiffer see? Oh hey, there goes the entire row of cans on aisle 5. Just me and my Swiffer; smackin' bums and destroying beans.
- The appraiser who asked if he could use our bathroom ... aaaaaand comes out 20 minutes later. And that is what you call a walk of shame.
- Texting someone who knows who YOU are, but you just lost all your phone numbers so you don't know who they are. So you stupidly text along, trying to be as vague as possible until you figure out who it is. But the conversation is 10 texts in and you are getting no where. So you HAVE to do it. "Hey um ... who is this again?" Then Napoleon Dynamite come in and smacks you upside the head, Ugh! ... IDIOT! ...
- Accidentally using honey and Season-All instead of honey and cinnamon. I'm pretty sure Julia Child would've just straight up passed out if she'd found out what happens in my kitchen.
- Slicing up the wedges in your grapefruit so deep that you unknowingly poke holes in the bottom of it. So eventually you turn it over to squeeze all the juice out, only to have 20 miniature holes squirting your eyes with what I'm like 98% sure was Mace
- Propping up in bed to take a drink, only to have half of the watery contents fall right out the side of your mouth. On the plus side, I got to hog the middle of the bed while my side dried. Booyah.

Awesome:
- The middle-aged, well-dressed professional whom I had the pleasure of parking next to. The guy could make money off of his steering wheel pounding, head banging, rocker skills.
- That I actually lasted through 20 minutes of crying before I decided that I'm not ready for sleep training yet.
- My at home Essie manicure lasting an entire week. For a hard-on-nails girl like myself, whose manicures typically last ... oh ... 3 hours, this is mind blowing. Mind. Blown.
- The wide-eyed look Everett gets on his face when I sing to him. He concentrates on my mouth like, oh. my. gosh. What IS that thing.
- The Hunger Games. Intricate storytelling is such an amazing talent.
- Discovering that Burt's Bees baby oil is the best thing to ever happen to my legs

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101 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Shoes: Nine West Martina, Skirt: F21, Top: c/o Chicwish Necklace: Kohls, Jacket: c/o Hatch Collection, Lipstick: NARS Heatwave

Awkward:
- Going to the gym with a friend who knows her way around the equipment, when I definitely do not. WHY WON'T IT PULL DOWN? Oh because you're backwards Syd... again. And the front desk staff laughs.
- Stretching my body to max capacity at a stoplight, trying desperately to stay buckled, with one eye on the light while retrieving a pacifier for a sad Mister Everett that has somehow fallen again into the dark recesses of the binky-eating abyss that is my back seat.
- Slip-sliding my car over a fresh dirty diaper in the Babies R Us parking lot. While I do understand the abomination that is a dirty diaper remaining in your car ... the parking lot people?
- That moment when another driver dangerously comes into your lane without checking his blind spot and your motherly instinct rants and rages at the man, "Don't you know there's a baby in this car?! Look at me you turd! I'm shaking my fist at you and shooting fire with my eyes!" But he doesn't look. Doesn't even give you the satisfaction of noticing what he did. And you're left sitting there talking to yourself.
- A post-baby bladder that does NOT mess around. Definately TMI, but it's not called awkward for nothin' people.

Awesome:
- Coming into the room in the morning and being met with a smiling baby face. He knows me!
- Running to the grocery store for some baby Orajel ... looking like a hot mess {that's an understatement} and actually not running into anyone I know. This. Does. Not. Happen.
- POM Wonderful. Best grocery store impulse buy I've ever had
- The way Tys lights up and kisses me and sings my praises when what I made for dinner really hits the spot. This should give you a clue as to how often my dinners actually do that.
- The microscopic fuzz on the top of Everett's bald head that I can spike with baby lotion. Also, I'm pretty sure when he actually DOES have hair ... it's not getting cut for a very. long. time.
- Everett's face and cherry flavored Orajel. That is NOT milk mama!
- And congrats Baked and Wired, you have officially created the best cup of hot chocolate in the world!

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162 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Shoes: Nine West Martina, Dress: c/o Hatch Collection, Blazer: F21, Belt: JCrew, Lipstick: NARS Heatwave

Awkward:
-Trying to have a conversation with my doctor as I sit pants-less on the patient table, feeding a slightly fussy baby and failing to maintain any form of decency as my ridiculously small toilet paper sheath slides slowwwwly off my lap. I'm having a marvelous time doctor, really I am. Let's keep talking.
- Tys requesting that I grab E's binky from the counter for him. So I do. Only to bring it back and proceed to try and stick it in his mouth. TYSON'S mouth people! Actually wondering for two seconds why he wasn't taking it ... until I noticed him looking up at me with his lips clamped shut like, "alright, well it was nice knowing you when you were normal".  And that, my friends, is how you know it's nap time.
- That moment when your sweet Everett lets one rip like the man-babe that he is. And you think to yourself, "There is NO WAY that just came from that tiny child", only to look around the room and realize that everyone is thinking the exact same thing.
- What they don't tell you about after birth: First, there's those really fab undies that you get to wear. And just in case you haven't had this particular delight in your life yet, just picture a large, highly stretchable, mesh {mesh!} diaper. If that's not enough of a visual for you, there's of course the matronly nursing bra, some truly artistic bedhead and numb epi noodle legs that require you to be whisked off to the bathroom in aforementioned attire, on a miniature chariot. Basically, it's your shining moment.
- Reaching up to turn off the baby monitor like it's an alarm. Shortly followed by a, "get it together man!" pep talk in the bathroom mirror.

Awesome:
-  I mean, he kind of said it all.
- The older woman who came up to me in the store, convinced that we had been friends years ago. I tried to tell her that I would have been 7 at the time, but she wasn't having any of it.
- The fact that I spent literally all day running four errands {not the awesome part} and my little buddy Everett was a gem the whole time. Back seat diaper changes and not a single pee incident. MAJOR.
- Yes, our Christmas tree is STILL up. We're having a hard time parting from the glow
- Getting to teach the three year olds in church together.
- Mamas who have pretty painted nails. WHEN guys? Tell me whennnnnn
- My one true love and my little love ... doing anything together. Does fatherhood look good on that guy? YES. That's a big yes.

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124 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Shoes: c/o Nine West {Martina}, Jeans: Gap, Button Up: F21, Sweater: F21, Necklace: c/o Pree Brulee

Awkward:
- Can I just generalize and put "my body" here? The non-sleeping, the walking, the bending over, the breathing, the cramping, the tummy itching, the contracting, the ... other stuff, the creaking, the shaving {or lack thereof}. Shall I go on? No. You're all done? Me too.
- Becoming so relaxed during a hypnobirthing session that I completely lost all self awareness and full on open-mouth drooled. Sprawled out on the couch, huge belly and all ... it was a flattering moment, let me tell you.
- Aaaaand. That's all the awkwards I remember. Thanks brain. You're really killin' it right now.
Awesome:
- The fastest trip to the salon I've ever had - an hour in and out. Plus it was 25 bucks. I've never been a good coupon clipper. But Groupons ... Groupons I can do.
- My habitually long evening showers. There is nothing more blissful right now than hot water pouring over my neck and back every night. Probably not so blissful? Our water bill.
- Waking up to rain, an open window, a dim room and a husband who's not motivated to get out of bed just yet {which never happens}. Oh, the cozy.
- The gigantic rainbow colored bruise on Tys's calf from a football injury. His awesome. Not mine.  
- Looking forward to a wonderful weekend out of town with my mom and sisters ... while Tys stays here and sets up the nursery
- Getting to slip on a new pair of heels for a minute- even if it's just to sit and work. Makes me feel like my old self again.
- Going over to a girlfriend's house for the evening while our husbands work late. Bonus: she cooked dinner AND gave me some extras to take home for Tys. I realize that this probably makes me look like the most pathetic wife, but hey ... I guess I'll claim that title right now. In a few weeks, maybe I'll be as awesome as you Lauren ;)

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128 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Shoes: Vera Wang for Kohls, Jeans: UO, Sweater: c/o Chicwish, Glasses: UO

Awkward

- The poor, awkward, soon-to-be father who was left alone in the waiting room with me.  
"Soooooooo .... you're pregnant too." 
"Um, yep. Yep I am." 
"Good ... that's good."
Please, almighty clipboard. Please let my name be next. 
- Leaning forward and having my belly easily rest on my legs. The best way to feel ginormous and sweet relief at the same time.
- Baby Registries. Here people! Buy me stuff! I kind of despise them.
- Sitting at a desk all day causes burning shins and swollen ankles. Funny, I thought that was from walking. Welcome to the lose-lose portion of pregnancy!
- Walking full-speed ahead towards the check-out line at Walmart. Clearly, not browsing for anything. One of the associates stops, looks at me and says "OK, I found it. The mango salsa is on aisle 9." Of course I'm thinking this guy is kind of a nutbag ... but I say, "Great. Thanks". Only to realize the woman behind me says thanks too. And the nutbag-turned-not-nutbag-but-actually-a-helpful-associate gives me the "your poor brain must've up and died" look.
Actually ... yes.
- The fact that I KNEW I'd be producing milk at some point. But having a "what the CRAP is going on down there?!" moment, pretty much every time it happens.

Awesome
- Women who don't tell me their birthing horror stories. I love it when they don't tell me those.
- Giving someone the stare-down until they give me their seat. My bump is passive aggressive.
- Running out of my favorite body-saver Shea butter and being pleasantly surprised by the fact that I don't have to order it online and wait 7-10 days anymore. They have a store! yay! I don't live in Idaho! yay!
- Root beer? Since when?
- Waking up in the middle of the night as per usual. And then hearing the rain outside the window. Sleep is somehow always easier after that.
- Actually having good stuff to make packing his lunch that much easier. It's the simple things.
- The weekend. Where whole afternoons can be spent in bed talking. And talking and talking. So glad I didn't marry somebody boring.

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114 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Boots: Hunter, Leggings: Target, Button-up: c/o Panache, Blazer: Nordstrom, Glasses: Target

Awkward:

- Leaving my cart for a bit to go grab an item down the aisle a ways. I come back, toss the item in my cart while looking at my list and keep moving down the aisle. Only to look down and see someone else's purse. Sure, just inconspicuously grab your stuff out of someone else's cart and walk quickly back to your own ... head down. Move legs .... move! move! move! That's normal. I'm sure the security camera footage on that one is fantastic. 

- The most uninhibited little boy coming up to me in a check-out lane, "Can I touch your baby?" and gave it a little pat. It was actually really sweet. The awkward part was when the mom saw where he was and loudly ushered him away like I was a giant germ or something. And then we stood next to each other ... in a longgggggg line.

- Our neighbor's afternoon delight. We're gonna leave it at that. It was slightly traumatic. And now I know to close my windows at about 3:00.

- Realizing that jerky is probably not the best snack to bring to church. Here let me just yank on this piece of meat and breath on you with my teriyaki breath. Isn't that nice.

- Walking out of a restaurant restroom w toilet paper stuck to my foot. Really? THAT just happened. 

- Trying to get stuff out of our bottom Tupperware cupboard.  It's like a dance. An awkward elephant grand-plié dance - where you can't breath. And your knees crack when you stand up again. It's lovely. 

Awesome:

- The older lady that came up behind me and said ... "It's a boy in there isn't it? That little sucker is straight out the front." I'll just ignore the fact that my belly is now a "sucker" and give her props for excellent baby-prediction skills.

- The little day-trip we're gonna take this weekend. Between work, an evening class to prepare for the GMAT and playing in his football games, I haven't hardly seen husband all week. And I am NOT sharing this weekend.

- Having enough energy to do Walmart AND Target in one sitting.  It's a pregnancy miracle!

- Texting my Grandma. Never thought I'd even say those words.

- AND because an awesome list is not complete without the mention of food ... this week we're gonna go with waffles. Because syrup is dang delicious.

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122 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!!

Shoes: c/o Ruche, Jeans: 7 for All Mankind, Shirt: Target, Vest: H&M

Awkward:

- Living in a neighborhood that feels private enough to go outside in my bathrobe to check the mail. A purple bathrobe mind you. That adds about 489384092 lbs. That's how private it feels. And then having every neighbor and their dog suddenly make an appearance. I tried to be confident about it, I did. So confident that I started running as fast as my pregnant body would carry me, burst through the front door and dashed to the blinds to do a status check. The running helped distract from the robe, I'm sure.

- Plumbers that live up to every bit of their plumber reputation. Pa-lease, would you get that thing out of my bathroom. Yes sir. Your bum.

- Doing a harmless teeth check in the car mirror. {It's my car alright? Free reign.} Only to have Doris in the next car over giving me the "You are no southern belle, are you?" look. That's right. I had spinach for lunch. Drink it in, Doris. Drink it in.

- A belly button that wants to be Mt. Vesuvius for Halloween.

- Placing a urine sample {TMI?} in the little "sample receiving" door they have at the doctors. Only to have a nurse open it at exactly the same time on the other side. "Oh hi. Uh. Here's my pee."

Awesome:

- The upcoming weekend! Where there's no such thing as husband working late.
- The daily walks I've been taking. They're supposed to loosen up my hips. But they're kind of just perfecting my waddle. Which is getting really sexy you guys. Mmm. Husband loves him some waddle.
- ohmygosh mandarin oranges. Had three whole cans in one sitting, and did not come up for air once.
- Crunchy peanut-butter on a spoon
- And more food. That I won't bother with here. Peace out, I'll be in my kitchen.

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143 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

 Shoes: YesStyle, Leggings: Target, Poncho: H&M {sweet gift from Linda!} Earring: Vanessa Mooney

Awkward 
- This fantasy I have about installing a miniature crane in my bedroom to haul me from my bed to the bathroom. I would just wear overalls all the time. And that nice little crane hook would fly me like a bird ... back and forth to the throne with ease. Best Idea Ever Award?? Right here people.
- Squeezing myself into my chambray button up. Only to have it burst open the second I sit down in the doctor's office waiting room. EVERYONE! Look at meee! I'm wearing my big ugly mommy bra today!! see?? No really ... FEEL FREE TO CONTINUE STARING. Lady ...
- My equilibrium that is no longer equal. It's not uncommon for me to bang into like five walls as I come down the stairs.
- Speaking of stairs. We have four sets in our house. That's fun.
- Talking on the phone to someone who has a heavy accent. I could really use another language in my repertoire around here. Because all the versions of sorry, could you repeat yourself ... erm ... five more times for me? ain't cuttin it. 
- Pregger brain power running dry. Thus asking husband what awkward things happened to me this week. He says, "Jeeze ... at your stage? ..." Then I told him he could shut it.
- A shower that routinely changes water pressure on it's own accord. Oh ... here's a little trickle for ya to wash all that shampoo out. That's right, come closer ... closer .... BAM! Fire hydrant water pressure right in yo face you sucka. bahahahahaha! {because I'm pretty sure it does laugh}
Shower 1 Sydney 0

Awesome
- Um. My leg hair has stopped growing? Weirdest and best pregnancy perk ever!
- The paintings that are FINALLY finished! And don't you dare say that a kindergartener could do em cause they took me like a million years. And I'm sensitive.

- The sweet reassuring comments I recieved on birthing for this past little while. Your postive experiences and encouragement mean a lot you guys. Thank you!
- Cocoa Krispies. I won't even tell you how many bowls I've had this week.
- Walking down the street and actually getting a wave from a neighbor! Amazing!
- The three hours I get to spend in the doctors office today taking a glucose test. Yipeeeeee

Happy Thursday guys!! And happy September!

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112 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

 Jeans: Gap, Top: c/o Threadsence

Awkward:
- Husband's late nights and early mornings resulting in me and my camera being left to our own devices. A la crap remote pictures. Cheers.
- Being the small town people we are, driving through our neighborhood and waving at our neighbors. You'd think we would have been simultaneously sticking our heads out the windows singing show-tunes at them for all the looks they gave us. Fine, crabbies. No small-town action for YOU.
- Looking at ma-self NEKED {What. You do it. Just cause you don't announce it to everyone you know ...} and coming to terms with the fact that my baby is now the shelving system for my tots. This will probably mortify him in about 12 years, but for now, he can just leave the mortification to me.
So attention attention, YOU UNDER THERE. This is a public service announcement: Stooooop. Growinggggggg.
Sincerely,
Me, Senorita Top Heavy
- Spelling "THERE" as "THEIR" in my post yesterday. And nobody said any - thing. You guys, this preggo brain's specialty is bad spelling and grammar right now. Normally, something that is one of my biggest pet peeves. I died a little inside. Help a sista OUT yo.  
- Bashing a poor old man in the head with my belly at the post office yesterday. He was about to get angry, but then he turned around and saw my little basketball, so he decided to rub it instead. I think I wish he'd gotten angry.
- Husband's phone/alarm dropping behind the bed in the middle of the night. Waking him up to move the bed and get it. Watching him from the bathroom as he paced the floors staring at the bed for a good 20 seconds.  
Hon, you have to move the bed. Your phone dropped.
Oh .... right.
So then he moves the bed. Only to stand at the end and stare at it.
Poor guy. I don't even want to know what a midnight diaper change is gonna look like.
- Attempting to wear Heidi braids and a pregnant belly at the same time. Hi. I'm 22 going on 14. Feel free to keep staring. I love it.

Awesome:
- I would just like to take a moment to recognize husband for always putting the toilet seat down. *cue pre-recorded cheers and applause soundtrack. We each have our own bathrooms now {because THAT'S how much I love scrubbing toilets} and not once have I gone into his very own manly-man of a bathroom and accidentally dunked my bootay in the poo water. Because he's just that good. Here's to YOU my toilet-seat superman. Muah!
- Laying in bed with said superman last night and giggling at my rolly-polly stomach. Baby is startin to make waves in there ... he let us see his big head and little feeters last night. Can't wait till we can give them kisses.
- The tour I just booked to go check out our big jacuzzi tub, luxurious private room, and soundtrack of relaxing music . Ahhhh ... doesn't giving birth just sound like a vacation!? HA.
HA. HA.
- The Five Guys and Panera that are parked right next to each other just down the street. Oh the conundrum.
- Having dinner cooked and ready when husband comes home every. night. 
Booyah baby!! I'm a house-wife now. WHAT.
{I give it three months ...}

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132 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

 Shoes: F21, Dress: c/o Threadcase, Belt: Thrifted, Cardi: JCrew, Hat: Target, Glasses: Cassettes, Bracelet: c/o Pree Brulee

Awkward:
- Husband walking into the bathroom during yet another pee sesh. He says to me: "All I ever do is see you on the toilet these days" and shuts the door. He thinks I'm sexy.
- Going over to a new friend's house for dinner, completely missing their apartment door and walking into their neighbor's house instead. "Hi! We're here!" Until I hear Tys from outside: "Um.... Syd?"
Right.
Hey ... well THAT looks like a good dinner guys. I was just here to see if you have a paper bag I could borrow to put over my head for a sec?
- The guy ahead of us in the check-out line at Walmart the other day. You know the ones ... who think they're being sneaky. Oh yeaaaa ... I'm just checking out the covers of those magazines behind you ... for the 20th time. Do dee do dee do.
Yes. There's a baby in there. No. I am not 16. No. You cannot keep looking at it. Yes. I will punch you in the face. 
- Walking into an absolutely silent bathroom, and then having one of those unconscious moments where you say what you're thinking outloud because you think you're alone ... and then hearing the toilet paper rustle coming from the next stall over. So then you proceed to silently bang your head against the wall and duel it out for who leaves the stall first so you don't have to make eye contact.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that public restrooms will pretty much always be traumatic experiences for me.
- The woman on the metro the other day who came up to me, rubbed my belly and said "Oh mah goodness ... that is definitely a girl in there." I tell her that no, actually it's a boy. She shakes her head and says "ohh ... well then there must be two of em then".
OK so I'm huge now. Don't touch my belly.
- Not being able to sleep one night, so we sit up in bed at 3 in the morning and decide to watch a birth video on my phone to pass the time. Or I did. Husband hid everything under the covers except for one solitary eye-ball and had ohmygosh ohmygosh on repeat for the remaining 4 minutes of the vid.
I think it's time for a Lamaze class.
- And let's just throw this one out there ... just for fun. Pregnancy causes constipation yo. So now every time I'm successful in that department, I come out and am met with a kiss on the forehead and an enthusiastic "Good Job Honey!" from husband. Now if only I had a potty chart to put a giant gold star on.

Awesome:
- Mah tots. {You knew it was coming}
- Playing the "Smokin' Hoops" basketball arcade game with husband on date night. And pretty much whooping his trash. I don't think he's ever been so happy to have his nonathletic wife beat him at something. I told him it was the extra testosterone, and he gave baby high fives.
- Complaining to the movie theater manager that our movie quality was not quite up to par ... and getting free movie tickets out of it. Lesson learned? Complainers win guys.
- The awesome pair of antlers that our new neighbors totally wasted on their landscaping. Sometimes I feel like knocking on their door "Hi. I'm Sydney ... the new one from next door. Listen, I'm just going to take these K? They'll look better in my house." What's the worst that could happen right?
- OK. Belly massages? Blowing my mind right now.
- The two huge white canvases I picked up on my adventuring yesterday. So excited to break out my oils! It's really too bad we don't have a wrap around porch and endless fields of no neighbors. You betcha buttons I'd be Rachel McAdamsing all over that.

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107 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Boots: Hunters, Shorts: Gap, Top: F21, Denim Top: American Eagle

Awkward:

- We're just gonna be real here: How many times I've peed my pants. I laugh ... I pee. I sneeze ... I pee. Husband looks at me ... I pee. My laundry pile is NOT cool yo. A nudist colony is looking like the best thing since sliced bread right about now. Or maybe just a large diaper.
- My ability to sleep sitting up. It would probably freak anybody out if they came into our room at night. Namely, husband. But to defeat acid reflux, back cramps AND sleep at the same time. I consider it a proud moment.
- Having your car guarded by an army of sprinklers. Only to have them turn off the second after you make your flying leap through them and wet your pants YET again. It's not pee this time guys! Swear!
- Me and mister sniffles. Trying to sleep. We're one of those sexy couples right now. The ones with the humidifier blasting and 4923084 kleenexes piled around us while we lay there with our mouths open and cough pathetically. A cold AND allergies? It's like a dream. A big sexy dream.
- The swimsuit situation right now. My tots fall out of one, and my tummy out the other. Again, the nudist colony comes to mind.
- Saying something QUITE hilarious. Only to have the lucky recipient of this hilarity say "Whaat?" three times, until they finally hear it and say "oh" with a barely-there complimentary "ha".

Awesome:
- Not being able to feel baby move for a few days, lying on my back with a glass of water prepared to knead, massage and wait it out, and then feeling several strong rolls and kicks not long after. He knew I was worried, the little squirt.
- My belly button slowly turning into a flat swirl. Try and get in there NOW fuzzies!
- Expecting to go to dinner with some new friends for a few hours and then staying there for six. Its so bitter sweet to make such great friends with such great conversations, only to know that you're leaving in a few weeks.
- The BEST {kinda maternity} photo shoot we had with our fave yesterday evening. She's a genius guys. I can't wait to show you!
- Getting to hear the little guy's heartbeat again through my cousin's stethoscope.
- Husband rating my leg shaving time table. "Eh." he inspects, "you could probably go for a couple more days. Just leave it"
Isn't he the dreamiest?
- Only TWO more weeks till I walk across that stage and swipe my degree with an evil laugh and run off on the other side. I might even throw a "what now suckas?!" in there for good measure.

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94 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!!

Top: UO, Dress: c/o Shopmamie Boots: Hunter

Awkward:

- Flinging open the door the second the post lady and my box of Hunters got to my porch. "I've been waiting for you" has never sounded creepier

- The girls were kinda bigger than the corset top of this dress allowed for. You know what I mean ... that awkie underboobage ... but hey, I didn't have to wear a bra so what do I care? Besides. It'll be perfect for after the babe sucks their coolness away. Tear.
- This random guy sizing up my outfit yesterday says to me, "I bet you're a cat lady aren't you?" K. #1 Who are you? #2 I bet YOU'RE  a cat lady ... And you're not even a lady! BAM!
My retorts need some work.

 - Sleepwalking. To go "lock" the front door ... or rather unlock it. I am a sleeping Creeper McCreeperson. And poor husband. He's the sleeping Sherlock Holmes.
- The #$@! bugs that keep biting in all the wrong places. Bugs, it's cool if I itch my arm ... so feel free ... bite my arm. Bugs, it is not cool if I itch my armpit. Then I look like some kind of an orangutan. Oh yes ... a pregnant orangutan. The kind that people look at and say, "It's her again. The itchy one .... everybody ruuuuuuuuuuunnnnn." And then they run.
- Listening to "cool people" music and starting to dance. And then remembering this maternal bump I have growing on me. Apparently, "shorty" is not able to get lo, lo, lo anymore. Shorty will resume getting lo in approximately 5 months.
- Oh yes. And I wore this shirt twice in a row. I just moved three spaces, right into style blogging jail.

Awesome:
-  Walking around on a perfectly sunny day in my new green rain boots. Knowing that the SECOND an evil rain drop even thinks about falling, I have the ability to karate chop it in the head.
- Catching husband reading his daddy book. And HIM bringing up the topic of our birth plan and what kind of ENVIRONMENT we want in our birthing room. Who is this person?
- A freshly detailed car. What is it about them that makes you want to sit on a grocery sack with your feet in the air?
- When husband felt our babe move for the first time this week, it transformed the babe from an "it" to "the three of us".
- The campout we're going on tomorrow!! yipeeeeeeee
- This kid of ours is a crazy person when I'm hungry. That's how husband knows that at 2 in the morning, I will easily down two cheese sticks, a bowl full of cottage cheese and strawberries and a bunch of trail mix ... even if I don't know it. Of course, followed immediately by two pees, and a still tummy
= baby's happy

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122 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!!

haha

Shoes: Gap, Maxi: Thrifted, Top: F21, Belt: Delias, Vest: Woolrich

 Awkward

• The lengths I'll go to for my current, undying craving for sour Jelly Bellys. First, I call the Chevron station. {normal people call gas stations all the time to quiz them on the status of their candy stock} They got nothin'. So I call Albertsons and Wal-mart. Both store's associates equally amused that they get to traipse down the isles hunting for my food-choice-of-the-day. Turns out, they got nothin' either. So now I'm getting desperate. Which is usually the part when Amazon pops into my brain. Amazon ends up rocking it in the Jelly Belly department, and I seriously consider the pros and cons of purchasing a 5 lb case of delightfulness. I think about husband's face when he finds out about the extraordinary plan I came up with, and I decide that I better think a little more. And that's when things got really serious -- I went to Jelly Belly dot com. That's right, www.jellybelly.com. I am ashamed.
  But I was delivered! Because Jelly Belly dot com has this special thing where if you type in your zip code, you can find out where all the little Jelly Bellys are hiding from you! And I FOUND ONE. One whole bag just for me. At a craft store. 
  *now would be an appropriate time for applause. or yaaay sydney's 

•  The grocery bag husband brought home chucked to the brim with broccoli. I'm going to be peeing green for the rest of my life. *also an appropriate time for applause and yaaay sydney's

•  That I can't tell whether it's baby or my chicken nuggets kicking me in the stomach. Probably the chicken nuggets.

• Running into new friends while looking fabulous. "Hey! You're that one blog girl! I almost didn't recognize you in that huge Yellowstone t-shirt with chocolate on the front of it. With your hair like that ..." SO. For all those living in the vicinity -- how about we just keep those expectations at an all time low. With no signs of rising anytime in the near future. Sound good? Perfect. {or as our dear bachelorette would say, per-FACT}

Awesome

• Iced herbal sun tea - yum!

• My new green Hunters that are on their way! You convincing devils ...

• Did you know that vegetarian dinners are actually really filling? Holy Smanoley - tomatoes and greens baby. and salt and pepper - the other major food group.

• My new favorite deli does free deliveries ... whaaaaaa??

• OK. Too much food talk. That means my time's up.

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108 Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Shoes: Nordstrom, Shorts: Gap jeans that I just cut up, Top: H&M, Jacket: Old Navy, Watch: F21

Awkward

- Getting massive headaches every night. Thus walking into the grocery store with said headache, on a mission to get a large bottle of Tylenol cause pregos can't have Advil.

Walking out with a large bottle of Advil.

What happened in that grocery store, I will never know.

- Forgetting your wedding ring and walking around campus with a bump. Guuuuuurl. Oh no she di-int.

- So I'm trying to be nice right? I see this kid parking in a tricky no parking zone - one that I've parked in before and got a spensive ticket for. So I go up to his window and tap on it. Said kid is on the phone. He looks up at me and stares. I wave. Motion to roll down the window. He continues to stare. Still talks on phone. Instinctively I reach for the car door handle to open it. I realize this is a bad idea. THIS IS NOT YOUR CAR YOU DINGLEHEAD. {that's what my brain said} So I patiently wait. Outside a strangers car. For him to get off the phone and talk to me. Que being nice turning into some kind of strange stalker scenario. Yay!

In the end, I save the day. {duh} Kid drives off without a parking ticket. And he tells me I am awesome, while looking at me like I am the worst kind of awkward. Which, moral of the story, I totally am. 

Glad that's settled.

-  Being told that "ohmygosh you are so twins with this friend of mine". Meeting friend. Friend is nice. Secretly deciding friend is banned from being my twin.

- Telling my double helping of macaroni and cheese to do its worst. To which it totally obliges. 

- Discovering that we desperately need Draino after taking a "my shower is definitely too hot / the room is so pretty when it spins" face plant into the nast-ola soapy water. {p.s. me and b are totally fine :)}

Awesome

- Our bikes! Which were delivered just yesterday. We took them out for a quick spin around the block and fell in love. Don't you love how fancy it is? Oooh, my little bum is gonna turn into a REAL LIVE WOMAN BUM!! 

- That husband made lasagna for me at 9pm. With french bread and everything. Then we made out.

- Also, if I hold my breath and watch my belly button, I can totally see the bebe's heartbeat/pulse. {I might get naysayer mommies from this one, but it was totally for reals yo. My pulse is like a turtle compared to that poppin' belly button.

- Classes being canceled on days when I thought I would die if my legs had to touch a pair of jeans. We fully embrace pantslessness in this house. If only we could convert the school.

- Finally hitting that magical 72 degrees. June 1st, you did us proud.

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