come up with this whole plan back in 2014, essentially based on a gut feeling. It may sound crazy, but I wholeheartedly believe in making decisions big or small, based on that good ol' gut. I've found that when something feels off it usually is, and when something feels right, well, it usually is too. Even though we'd originally considered that Austin might be a place where we would settle, after spending some time there, we'd individually felt that, for whatever reason, it wasn't where we were supposed to be.
Fast forward to a month later, and I had Idaho, a place that hadn't been part of any of our original plans, on my mind constantly. This was extremely ironic and extremely befuddling, since I'll be the first one to tell you that Boise flippin' Idaho was and has always been, the last place on my list. But there it was. I'd hear Idaho in the crunch of the rocks beneath my feet and in the wind whistling by my ear. (Not literally, but literally.) The thought was pressing and strong.
This had been going on for a little while and I hadn't said anything to Tyson, because well, I didn't want to. But then one afternoon, we were sitting together in the living room of my Dad's house when Tyson put down his book and piped up, "I have to tell you something. And I don't really want to say it, because I don't know if I'm a fan of the idea, and I know that you're not, but it's constantly on my mind, so I just have to tell you."And then he told me that he was thinking about Idaho.
Long story short, we collectively said, "well shoot, ok" packed up our things and moved up here. We felt good about it. I would even say, absurdly good about it. We were close to all of his family, within easy driving distance of my family, and surrounded by the outdoors activities, land and people that we wanted our children to experience.
We still feel this way. However, after alllll of those very good things, here we are in March, and Tyson still hasn't found a job.
Most of our belongings are still in a lonely storage unit in Virginia. To be honest I often think about them sitting there in the dark and
I miss them terribly. I miss our couch. I miss our photos. I miss our
favorite blankets. I miss the plants that I gave to a friend. And don't
even ask me about my rocking chair, because I cry every time.
But you know what the stupid part is? I still feel good about our decision. It's true, we've been uttering a collective, kaaaaaaayyyyy?
for about half a year now. But EVEN when we've been presented with
opportunities elsewhere, that pesky gut feeling pops up again and tells
me to stay put and hang on. Stay put and hang on. You're in the right
place, just stay put and hang on.
I'll be honest and say that it's been difficult to reconcile those feelings, and still
trust in them day in and day out on my own, let alone on a public forum. I've found it incredibly difficult
to blog personally throughout a situation that I don't have control
over. It just seems to hang in the air. Daily. A story unfinished, and a
solution unknown. So I haven't come here with it until now. But I serendipitously met a new friend the other day, and over the
course of our conversation, she unknowingly gave me the exact pep talk I
needed to hear. She said, "I've been there. You think your life is
supposed to follow this timeline, because everyone else's life seems to
be. But it doesn't work like that. No one's life does. I had to let go of my own timeline and my expectations for it. I took care of the
things that were in my control, and for the things that weren't, I just had
to let my life be what it was going to be." And for whatever reason, that made talking about it a little easier.
It must be said, that even in the middle of this unexpected detour in our lives, we have very little to complain about. We've been surrounded by the support of family, Tyson's parents have generously let us invade their space, and various opportunities have allowed me to provide for our needs. My sister even moved here a few months ago. (10 minutes down the road, of all places!!!) It's honestly been blessing after blessing and we're truly grateful for the happiness and light that's filled our lives these last several months.
Crossing our fingers for good news this week, as we do every week. But if not, we'll be over here soaking up alllllll the family time. So much family time you guys.