Isla turns one, and these aren't tears, no really I'm fine

Wednesday, August 26

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One year ago, right this minute, I was soaking up the delicious newborn smells of Isla Loie. I was in a cocoon of endorphins and newborn toes, honestly trying to ignore any part of the world outside our suite that did not involve feeding and cuddling my baby and having, you know what? REALLY decent food brought to me every three hours. Those days were perfect and she was perfect.
Tonight, I took that same girl, now ten times chunkier and spunkier, upstairs to bed. We settled onto the sheets, threw the covers back, and cozied up to each other. Isla was exhausted from stair climbing and birthday caking and all manner of exploring/grabbing fistfuls of her brother's hair/eating his cars, but as we sidled up next to each other in the dark, she looked up at me with a giant grin, searching my face for permission to dive into our nightly before-bed routine. Absorbing my smile, she scrunched her face up into a squinty-eyed pout, and held it, posing like a boss, until she couldn't possibly hold it anymore and her breath pushed out of her, bursting into a giggle. She pulled her face back up again, this time pushing her lower lip up over her top lip and tipped her head back, holding it in stoic silence until her breath pushed out of her and she was a pile of giggles again, curled up in the crook of my arm. I mirrored her game, blowing my cheeks up and holding my breath, as we packed on a few more minutes of one-year-old humor. I then pulled out my secret weapon. The ol' ear-rub-slash-leg-rub-after-the-stealthy-flip-onto-the-belly trick. Combined with a near silent rendition of You Are My Sunshine, and she was out faster than she's ever been, maybe this entire year. And that was it. There she was, my silently slumbering one-year-old, sprawled out on the bed, looking entirely too big and entirely too small all at the same time. I watched her for a minute and celebrated to myself. I did it. I made it a year. I really made it through another newborn year and I did it with two. And just look at her. She's beautiful. She's mine and she's ours, and the three of us are so lucky to have her.

So happy first birthday to you my sunshine girl. I love you so much it hurts. You're the Isla of my dreams.

8 comments:

Melanie Kostrzewa said...

I so enjoy seeing pictures of her on your IG, and this post was just beautiful. Happy birthday mom and Isla!!

Krista P. said...

Happy birthday Isla! Wow, this year sure flew by. As usual, beautiful pictures!

Maria from Collecting Moments said...

I've been following your blog for years now, but I've never made a comment until now. Your words have always been distinct, your tone teetering between the serious and the playful. But since you've become a mother, they've been so much more so. This is a beautiful post and sums up every fold and crease of how moms feel as they celebrate their child's birthday year after year. Thank you for sharing it with us. Congratulations on another year, mama and to many years more...

Caitlin Rodriguez said...

Happy day to you mama!

Laura K said...

she is beautiful and you deserve a big congratulations for not only making it through a year (that seemed pretty tough from an outsiders limited prospective), but thriving throughout it xo

mollyluc said...

Seriously, your writing is just the best! Everything is so vivid and beautifully put - you need to write a book or something! Happy belated Birthday to Isla!! xo

Nina Olsen said...

Oh my, i'm lost for words! Beautiful! You sure know how to write! My second one just turned one as well, and this is so true! Good luck and keep on writing xo

Thrifty Pants said...

I just have to say.... it's CRAZY amazing how FANTASTIC you look after giving birth. I know, people have told me that and I have told people that... but honest to the Good Lord. You. Looked. Amazballs! LOL! My baby boy is one in two days!!! It goes too fast!

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