And a very large picture of my face. Care to inspect my receding hairline?
With as much push and pull as I've felt on the inside, equally matched are my feelings of happiness in this life that I've created for myself with my husband. And I like to focus on that, here, with all of you. But sometimes I come up empty-handed. And all I can feel is boiling change underneath the surface. What do you say when that happens? What words are there when you don't feel resolved? It's a job for a writer and a writer I am not. But passing it by doesn't seem fair to this time in my life. If there's documentation of anything, shouldn't it be a documentation of discovery? Of personal evolution?
I want 2013 to feel different. The questions and emotional stretching that come can scare me, but I need the challenge. I like how I feel when I come to a resolution ... when I listen to myself. I like who I am starting to become even though moving through it can feel like a real mess sometimes. I am in the thick of it. But maybe 2013 will be the year for writing the things I don't know how to write. For being more open and authentic. For getting comfortable in the uncomfortable.
Blogging is the weirdest sometimes.