I'm actually gonna use this blog for something a little bit personal for a second

Friday, March 5

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ok. i'm going nuts-o.
There are babies EVERYWHERE these days. I'm being hounded. Baby commercials. Friends getting prego with babies. Babies in stores who smile at us from grocery carts. Baby stories on TLC. Babies on blogs. Babies last night on 'the office' that almost made me cry {ridiculous?}, babies in class, TALKING about babies in class, babies that wave and smile at me in parking lots like they know ... something. Which P.S. this is a true story. I was walking into work the other day from the parking lot and this man who looks creepily like my husband {okay...} was holding this little blonde kid who whipped around when he saw me and started laughing and waving like he knew me or something. I was so...i don't know...weirded out? {that's not the right word} that I called Tys up right away and told him about it. He, of course, was not nearly as phased. {which ... he usually isn't with this kind of thing} But all I have to say is:
what the heck is going on?
I keep going back and forth talking myself in-and-out, in-and-out of this whole psychological hounding I've been getting. Brain thought: "We've been married for two years ... we're almost done with school ... it could work ... oh stop thinking about it, it's not part of the plan ... we need this time together ... but what if you're getting these thoughts because you CAN'T get pregnant and you need to start trying now ... but then what if you get pregnant right away? and you're still in school? that's definitely not what you wanted ... and what about money ... and what about those times that you are so glad that you hadn't started a family yet because you needed time with husband? ... yes, but it's time ... NO ... just calm down, it's not time."
Okay? you see? I'm going bi-polar here!! I'm a freakin nut-case about this and I shouldn't be

I don't mean to alarm anyone, or give the impression that we're gonna go knock ourselves up just because I'm having a 'heart-attack', {if you will}.
I rarely post long and kind of personal things like this... but this is my blog, well... our blog afterall and it IS a record of our life together and to be honest, I just needed to get it off my chest.

And surprisingly... I do feel a little bit better now. So ... there you go.

13 comments:

Angela Stringfellow said...

Go to the temple. It will make you feel better. We weren't planning to have kids yet (we weren't even talking about it), but we went to the temple and we knew we were supposed to and we're so grateful we did. I'm not saying that's what will happen to you, I'm just saying it will help you feel better either way.

The Lady Girl said...

Can I just say...I'm in the same boat. But then I think "wait! you can't do this to a child!"

I'm not ready for the sacrifice. I just figured out who I am as a person...

Sounds like you are feeling pressure because it has been repetitive, but, I don't think the spirit reveals that you should have a child in that manner.

I agree with Angela...if you really think you should be deciding to have a child..take it to the temple.

Gabe said...

Tell Tyson that I think his wife is hilarious. Ha. I think you're hilarious. We're kind of in the same boat too, but more on the 'no kids yet' side for now.

Heidi said...

Sorry to have contributed to your dilemma, but I just want to put my two cents in. There will always be reasons to not have kids yet. We decided that the Lord knows better than we do when we would be ready, and we put it in His hands. I know if you make it a matter of prayer, you will have your answer and feel peace with whatever that answer is. :)

{davis family} said...

we wanted the same thing, to wait! then all of a sudden i was pregnant, it was not expected and not really supposed to happen so easily...but it did and it ended up being perfect timing, and we're so eternally grateful for our baby.
When it's right, it's right. Whether you are expecting it or not, when your baby is ready to come to earth, he/she will come.
you hear about like 1% of moms getting prego on birth control, then it happens to you and all of a sudden you hear that ALL moms have their first child when they least expected it and when they were on birth control..haha, us!
You will be great parents, whether planned or not!

Playful Professional said...

I have the same freak out episodes every once in a while...what if we wait for a couple of years and then can't get pregnant right away? What then? Then I just forget about it about it until the next episode a couple of weeks later :)

Andy Groesbeck said...

If you ever need any baby advice we are here to help. babies rock

dcp963 said...

Syd, for what its worth...we had tyson...yea that tyson...just before our senior year of college and as i have told you before he was the 'devil baby' there for awhile and his momma worked so i had the privilege of rockin that kid to sleep every night till the wee hours of the mornin. wouldn't trade that experience for the world.

Fitness LEVEL 10 said...

Breath my dear. We plan, we plan, we plan and then H.F. shows us his sense of humor when our plans go out the window and his plan takes it's perfect place. Between now and forever, you will receive promptings and when you put YOUR PLANS aside, act on the promptings you will always have the perfect blue print right in front of you. XOXOXOX

JoyRGardner@gmail.com said...

I strongly feel that a woman should get pregnant when she really wants to and has a desire to take care of her baby. Like the old fashion saying goes, "Having a baby is like getting a tatoo on your face...you better be committed!" Anyways, I have two kids who I absolutely love, and I have no desire to have more. So, wait, and wait, and wait until your own INNER VOICE speaks to you. Best wishes, Joy (JoyGardnerMusic.blogspot.com)
p.s. I think you are adorable!

JoyRGardner@gmail.com said...

I strongly feel that a woman should get pregnant when she really wants to and has a desire to take care of her baby. Like the old fashion saying goes, "Having a baby is like getting a tatoo on your face...you better be committed!" Anyways, I have two kids who I absolutely love, and I have no desire to have more. So, wait, and wait, and wait until your own INNER VOICE speaks to you. Best wishes, Joy (JoyGardnerMusic.blogspot.com)
p.s. I think you are adorable!

The Lady Girl said...

Can I just say...I'm in the same boat. But then I think "wait! you can't do this to a child!"

I'm not ready for the sacrifice. I just figured out who I am as a person...

Sounds like you are feeling pressure because it has been repetitive, but, I don't think the spirit reveals that you should have a child in that manner.

I agree with Angela...if you really think you should be deciding to have a child..take it to the temple.

Angela Stringfellow said...

Go to the temple. It will make you feel better. We weren't planning to have kids yet (we weren't even talking about it), but we went to the temple and we knew we were supposed to and we're so grateful we did. I'm not saying that's what will happen to you, I'm just saying it will help you feel better either way.

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